Happy 15 Months!

My favorite thing about life with Holden this month is seeing his unique personality taking form.  Holden learned how to kiss with a resounding "sssmmmmmoooooch" and "smack."  He practices his kisses on mommy, daddy, his teddy bear .... his Fisher Price Barn.

Holden frequently acknowledges daddy with a "hey, dada!" 

He likes to play chase through the kitchen and around to the living room.  

Holden is still crawling, but can tackle the stairs in mere seconds.

Tonight I caught him "singing" into the Rock Band microphone.  He looked embarrassed when he realized I was watching. 

Holden still laughs and smiles constantly.  He is rarely sad, but when he is ... his blood-curdling screech shatters glass.

I love this little angel. 

In the words of my good friend H, when she met Reba McEntire.  Holden, I think "you're neat."

-Carmen

Warm Wishes for Mama

Dear Mama,

I have been thinking about you a lot, today and the news of PawPaw's recent and devastating diagnosis of Alzheimer.  

I am so sorry that things have been so tough on you and daddy lately.  I know how much you miss your mom .... I miss her, too.

I cannot imagine the heartache you have been experiencing each day or what it must take to muster up an occasional smile.  

I hope PawPaw is able to return home soon and that it is what he (and you) need to make peace with everything you have been experiencing. 

I wish I had the words to comfort you and wipe it all away.  Please know you are never alone and you have an entire community that loves you and will support you in the days ahead. 

Healing is coming. 

-Your Punkin

Pretty Bird

Post bath, mommy and daddy decided to set a wreath over sweet Holden.  He swished it around his waist like he was spinning a hula hoop, looking for an exit.

I think he looks pretty.

-Carmen  

Babies in PJs....

... are my favorite.

-Carmen

Bookworm

-Carmen

Happy 14 Months!

My favorite thing about life with Holden this month is his extensive vocabulary, and I'm not just talking about the audible version.  His sign language is also really moving along.  He kept signing "all done" to me while I was taking these pictures!

Holden can say....

Dada

Momma 

sounds like "muh-muh"

Uh-Oh

No

Thank You

sounds like "tankuuu"

Here Ya Go 

sounds like "he-u-toe"

I didn't realize how much we say this, but it must be a lot for him to pick up on it.

Poppy (Mr. B) 

NahNah (Mrs. B)

Nana (grandma, P)

Dogdog, or Doggie

Juice, Dada 

sounds like "jisss, dada"

Food

sounds nothing like food, but we know what he is saying, "a-bum"

More 

sounds like "muh-wha"

All done

sounds like "da-dun"

Holden now likes to take his shirt off by himself at bathtime, and when he is tired of me reading to him at bedtime he closes his book and signs "all done."

His favorite book is Green Eggs and Ham.  He laughs hysterically from cover to cover.

Holden was deprived of his paci a couple of weeks ago.  He did ok, but he was obviously sad.  When I gave it back to him the next day, he gleefully grabbed it and very clearly said, "thank you, thank you," popped it into his mouth and began dancing in his seat.  I wish he didn't like that thing so much, but he likes to chomp on it while he is teething.

.... oh that reminds me, he has 8 teeth now and isn't afraid to use them.

All done!

-Carmen

Baby Steps

Holden will be 14 months soon and shows little interest in walking.  I know, I know .... he will when he is ready.

Last night he amazed Jordan and I as he finally showed interest in a toy he usually cried over when we kindly suggested to him (on  several occasions) that it could help him walk.

Holden may not be a Kung Fu Master anytime soon, as that would require not only walking, but other slick and swift maneuvers.  He does however seem to be very smart.  Or at least to me he is.

Here is the best of both worlds.

Enjoy.  Turn on the volume you will hear my undoctored amazement as Holden performs.  Also, as he recites the alphabet (well the first 3 letters anyway) listen for his "C" it is too cute.

-Carmen

Happy 13 Months!

My favorite thing about life with Holden this month is his little attitude.  Yes, I know in a few more weeks it will be more annoying than cute.  For now, though .... cute.  

He becomes especially mad at Jordan and spouts off baby-babble curse words and high pitch screams then needs his mommy to pick him up and make it all better.  It drives Jordan insane.  

After Holden calms down from a fit of rage triggered by .... whatever (half the time we don't know what set him off) I will try to hand him to Jordan and it starts all over, again.  It's kind of funny, but not, but it is, but it really isn't, but it seriously is.

-Carmen

Heart, Breaking .... Healing

This is the post I have been dreading ... one reason it took so long to post it.

"Carmen?"

"Yes, momma?"

"It's time.  You need to come say your goodbyes, and she needs to see Holden one last time."

____________________

My dear sweet amazing Nanners passed away the last week of January.  That's why we have been silent.  

After two years of excruciating agony for her, my grandpa, my mom and my uncle ... she finally feels no more pain.  No longer is she trapped in a body that started giving up on this life fifteen years ago. 

 ____________________

Mom asked me to work on a slideshow for the service.  Likely the most bittersweet thing I have ever done.  Here are some of the pictures.  (FAMILY - check back later for a link to a protected album with all of the pictures used in the slideshow.)

second on left

on right, reminds me of Dorothy of OZ

with my mom and uncle

on left

with pawpaw

wedding

Nanners was .... is ... the most captivating woman I have ever seen.  I always picked out dark-headed dolls when I was little because they were beautiful like my grandma.  From her chiseled cheekbones to the taper of her wrist ... truly exquisite.

That same little girl that preferred the brunette to the blonde Barbie still has a romantic and naive-at-times heart still grasping to understand.  Grasping for something .... anything to hold on to.

____________________

Several days ago I zeroed in on a ladybug in our bathroom perched on the blinds on the window.  I noticed that she was more orange than red.  I decided to leave her in peace.  

A few days later, as I soaked in the tub I found the lovely more-orange-than-red ladybug swimming next to me.  I gently lifted her out and sat her on a washcloth.  As we stared nose-to-nose, I noticed her antennae wiggling rapidly.  I am pretty sure she was saying "thanks."  And I said, "you are welcome, " and proceeded to tell her about my grandma and how much I miss her.  

Again, I left her alone and went on my way.  I haven't seen her since, but I'm sure she is around here somewhere.

I've been calling her, "Nanners."

-humbled granddaughter, Carmen  

We're BACK!!!

Welcome back!
 
I think our internet issues are resolved for now.  Hopefully, the change in ownership will remedy our internet woes … don’t hold your breath. 
 
We have a lot of catching up to do!
 
Let’s start back at Thanksgiving and work our way up….. this is the first post of many.
 
(Insert wavy image of me typing at my computer, indicating flashback…..)

Click on image to link to pictures of Sawyer and Holden back in November.

-Carmen

TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES

We are temporarily without internet service. . . our provider is changing ownership.

Deleted Comments ... My Bad

Team E, Auntie Sara, Mel, and Shel ... Thank you for the birthday comments to Holden!  Unfortunately, I accidentally deleted them.  I'm sorry.  I was click happy and messed up.  I promise not to do it again.

-Carmen

Happy 12 months!!!

er ... uh ... 1 year! Bloody ridiculous!

My Dearest Holden,

You have completely changed my world. My heart is so full of love it sometimes aches.

You are the first one I think of when I wake and you are the peaceful lullaby that soothes my tired head to sleep.

I love cuddling up with you on the sofa ... playing "cars" in the floor ... bathtime ... laughing with you ... talking to you ... reading ... breakfast ... lunch ... dinner .... everything.

You have made me a better person, a better friend, a better wife, a better daughter, and a better sister.

Thank you for making me a mommy.

I love you sweet baby.

Love, Mommy

Sleepy Santa

Happy New Year!

I have a lot of pictures of Christmas to upload.  I will link you to them when I'm done loading them.  

Have I mentioned lately our internet connection bites?!?!

Here is our sleepy little santa worn out from all the parties....

-Carmen

Santa Hat

Holden has a very special outfit to wear to our holiday gatherings this year. I tried to get a good picture of him in the santa hat, alas he prefers to eat it. I still think it is cute.

The parties begin tomorrow.  It is going to be a busy week.  In the past several years I've been able to take my vacation the week before and the week of Christmas ... new job ... no time off ... so I feel quite frazzled trying to make sure I've taken care of all the mandatory holiday responsibilities.  

The week will end with the beautiful wedding of my beautiful cousin H.  I bought a new dress and shoes, today for the occasion.  I was PLEASANTLY surprised by the dress size!   

Now I am off to work on laundry.  Just one more load before bed.

-Carmen

New Toy

I am posting from my bday present! Thank you, hubby for the iPod Touch! I love it!

-Carmen

Ladies' Night

I got together with my favorite girls for our second annual ornament exchange last night. This year's theme was "handmade." These ladies create to impress!

Check 'em out.......

Auntie H painted this "C" to compliment our 2005 wedding invitation (has it been that long?)

Aunite A sculpted this little guy. Look familiar?

Auntie L found vintage 12 Days of Christmas cookie cutters, circa 1970 something and made us each a complete set!

These girls melt my heart. I miss spending time with them, and I am so thankful for every moment we have together.

Oh, and I knit these little guys.... I remembered to take pictures in the car with my phone.

The roads were starting to get nasty on the way home. It was a slow trek. About 3 minutes after walking through the door, the power went out at our house, and didn't kick back on until 2 am. No worries, though. Jordan LUCKILY bought firewood yesterday so we could cozy up and talk about our day.

-Carmen

New Friend

I have a new crafty friend.  She made this o-so-precious ornament for dear Holden.  I absolutely love it.  

Check out her website.  The Bottlecap Boutique....

-Carmen

Happy 11 Months!

So, I'm a week late. Oh well. The cloudy skies this week and early sunset have proved to be difficult for Holden's 11 month picture. The clouds parted today so I jumped on it.

My favorite thing about life with Holden this month is that you can really see his little personality shining through. Most everything puts a smile on his face, but he is starting to have favorite toys, favorite shows, and favorite foods ... that's a lie ... he likes all foods.

-Carmen

Tree Lighting Ceremony

I have fallen in love with the city where I now work. Everyone I meet genuinely CARES ... unjaded and sincere. It's a new kind of place for me, and I am really digging it.

We took Mr. Holden to his first Christmas parade and tree lighting ceremony in this township I am so fond of. Jordan met us for dinner at one of our fave cafes on the main street then we took our spot on the sidewalk for the parade.

It wasn't over the top, nothing too fancy, just a bunch of citizens that are proud of their borough.

The high school band was my favorite. Holden started slapping his hands on his lap. I think he liked them, too.

The moon was crazy full, tonight.  Click here to find out why.

We even ran into Mr. and Mrs. Claus.

Holden did really well and loved the excitement as usual. He seemed especially fond of the teenage girl standing next to us. Holden grabbed her rear at least a half a dozen times. He pouted and fake cried when I used the sternest of the stern voices and forbid him to do it, again.

-Carmen

A Touch of the Tireds

I am worn out. I vow to have all preliminary Christmas tasks completed by December 1 next year (insert eye rolls and "yeah rights," here.) 

If only I still had a security blanket or something to cling to that would make it all better.

Or in the words of my sweet nephew, "Dinusaws, whe auh ew?"  That is Sawyerspeak for "dinosaurs, where are you?"  When he can't find an object he desperately needs he summons said object by asking it where it is.

It could be anything, really.  "Guh-guh, whe auh ew?" that is his sippy cup.  "Nemo, whe auh ew?"  Nemo, as in the lovable fish.  It could be his shoes, or his pillow, or his book.  You have to imagine hearing his voice from another room when you know no one else is in there, asking Mickey Mouse, "what's your 20?"

Sawyer is so beautiful (yes I called the boy beautiful.)  I could look at him all day.  He looks EXACTLY like my little sister when she was his age.  I can remember thinking, "she is so cute, I want to squeeze her till her eyes pop out."  Now that is love.

Click to enlarge the picture.  His skin is so dreamy.  

  

"CALGON, whe auh ew? Take me away!"

-Carmen

The Trouble with the Tannenbaum

Two weeks, five trips to the Christmas section of the local retailer, 6,600 NEW clear lights, multiple power outages and surge protectors, and one fire drill later ......

This is year four of life with our nine and a half foot Christmas tree. Every year I have good intentions of wrapping the branches with lights so that I never have to put lights on the tree, again.

Alas, every year I crumple in a sobbing heap after tedious attempts that leave me covered in nylon tree branch scratches and two-thirds of a tree to go because I STILL don't have enough lights.

Unwrap ... unwrap ... screw it.

I'll do it next year.

I have publicly declared my husband's awesomeness on many occasions and I am about to do it, again.

If not for Jordan, there would be NO tree ... or any decoration of any kind this year.

I'm just not feeling it. I don't know what my problem is. All year long I look forward to this time of year. Normally I feel like the entire year is one big build up to Christmas.

I should be ecstatic ... this is my son's first Christmas!

Jordan, the one usually "anti-holiday," came to my rescue as I started showing signs of throwing in the towel ... or the TREE ... literally, I threatened on multiple occasions to knock the thing down and drag it outside to let the neighbor kids have their way with it.

He helped me from the first strand of wrapping lights to the very last ornament. I felt like a fourth grader refusing to do her homework as Jordan VERY patiently kept me going. He even blasted my favorite Andy Williams Christmas tunes to try and provoke a more festive mood.

You should see how seriously I take this Christmas decorating thing. I have neatly labeled tubs (lots of them) full of neatly documented and labeled ornaments, charts, and graphs for the precise method and manner for making the process go smoothly. It is sick, really.

This is after all the tree that my incredible husband proposed marriage in front of.



This is our first tree ... in our first home ... to now be shared with our first-born.

I really do love this tree. I just love it a lot more when it is decorated.

And now it feels more like Christmas.....

This is my favorite new ornament

This is Jordan's. He kept calling him Monkey Socks and blushed when I told him he is actually a Sock Monkey. I think Jordan's version of the moniker has "stuck."

-Carmen

Don't Hold Your Breath

I promise we are still around ... just having issues with our internet connection, our Christmas tree, time management, staying awake, scroogey moods (me not Jordan ... insert gasps,) and other little things that add up.

sigh

-C

Holden Meets Santa

Holden met Santa Claus!

Last Christmas he was still slow roasting in my belly. I remember thinking how great it would be NEXT year when Holden would participate in the holidays. I tried to picture him on Santa's knee, likely screaming his head off.

He is a lot bigger, happier, and more Jordan-like than I could have ever imagined!

Santa was as handsome, gentle and sweet as always. He even let me snap a few pictures of my own.

Holden didn't have a long list to share this year with the Jolly One, but I think Santa already knows he'll be well taken care of.

-Carmen

Two Peas

Imagine my anxious sickening frustration when I tried desperately to post this picture of Holden and Sawyer on Sunday and our internet service once again proved highly unreliable!

The fam got together at Aunt N's and Uncle J's house on Sunday. I LOVE LOVE LOVE my family. I have the bestest family in the whole big wide world. We have so much fun together.

I have a lot more pictures and sweet sappy lovey dovey to spread, but I fear the cyber gods are not smiling upon me, even still. So I wanted to at least get a taste of the holidays posted.

Carmen