Happy 17 Months!

Only a month late!  Not bad.....

My favorite thing about life with Holden this month is how SILLY he is.  He now makes valiant efforts to entertain us with his singing, clapping and dancing, silly faces and phrases.....

Oh, and did I mention he is officially WALKING!!!!!

Nana and I joke that he looks like drunk ET, the way he waddles around.  

He uses his baby signs and verbal words a lot more so he is easily picking up new signs on the first try.

Here he is signing his version of "water" with my lens cap.  He thinks he is suppose to water the plants when we go outside.  He is gently reminding me......

I am very proud to report that we have begun potty training and it is going surprisingly well.  Holden will go no. 1 in his potty before bathtime each day.  He thinks it is funny and chants "Tee tee. Tee tee," alternated with hissing snake-like (tee tee) sounds.  When finished doing his duty, he extends his hand for a "high five."  

Holden is fascinated with toilet paper and likes to tear off tiny pieces and drop them in the toilet or trash can.

Holden is very good at picking up stray items on the floor like leaves and he puts them in the trash or brings them to us.  If he finds Katie's dog food on the floor, he picks it up and puts it back in her bowl.

Every month I think he couldn't possibly be more fun, and I think "this is my favorite age," then he surprises me with a new talent or dance move and I decide, "no, this is my favorite age."

-Carmen

Goodnight, PawPaw

PawPaw drew his last breath on Monday.  We had family time and funeral service today.  

PawPaw isn't hurting anymore and now he is with my grandma.

I'm really struggling with a lot of feelings right now.  Today, Jordan and I attended the fourth funeral service since November.  

The first was a father the same age as me.  

Then we lost my grandma.  

The young man we said goodbye to last week was only 19 and had just enlisted in the Army.  He had no time, for whatever reason to experience so many things.  

I am thankful that PawPaw was blessed with a long vibrant story.  He impacted the lives of so many people and never met a stranger.  

PawPaw told the same stories over and over, again.  We knew them all by heart.  That was his thing.  

One of the many genetic gifts PawPaw shared with me was stubbornness, and as the eldest grandchild, epic battles ensued from time to time between the two of us.  

When I was probably 5, during a particularly heated discussion .... about what .... I don't know, but I'm sure I was doing something I wasn't suppose to.  PawPaw was getting on to me and I told him I was going to start calling him "PawPaw Poo Poo."  

That did not go over well.  

Being the sensitive child that I was, I used the new name over the next few years to get him good and mad.  Sinister?  You betcha, and it worked every time.  

I was finally scolded for being disrespectful and decided to squelch the name calling.  

Funny thing, though ... after it stopped, he was sad about it.  He started to refer to himself as PawPaw Poo Poo, and sometimes just Poo Poo.  I think he missed the banter.

PawPaw lived his life fully ... he has met 6 of his great-grand-babies.  That makes for a pretty amazing life.

-Carmen      

Property of the Mouse

A good friend of ours recently noted that Holden's shaggy coif makes him look like "Property of Disney."  I thought that was hilarious.... and so true.

Holden went in for a trim last weekend, so here's one last peek at his teeny bopper, boy-bandy 'do.

-Carmen

Closing and other Stuff

It is official! We are homeless.

We closed last Friday on our old house.

I called Jordan later that afternoon and asked if he felt lighter and happier, because I sure did. He also felt a sense of relief. We didn't realize how much worry we devoted to selling the house. We floated along and never really talked about that part.

We are both so glad that chapter is closed.

Things are going ok. We are still adjusting.

Holden was in a super fabulous mood today. It was probably the first day we were completely back on schedule ... his schedule.

I had a rough week physically, last week. For whatever reason, I was extremely sick and became very dehydrated. A trip to the ER and an IV of a couple of bags of fluid perked me right up, though.

Jordan and I have a meeting with an architect/engineer in a couple of weeks to start working on the new house. I can hardly sit still I'm so excited. We have a lot of homework before then ... but it is fun homework.

In an effort to buy Holden's love and affection and perhaps to curb some of the recent and relentless tears, Jordan and I picked out a castle/slide/swing set.

I can feel the love. Can you?




-Carmen

This is What ......

cutting 4 molars at one time looks like.....

-Carmen

Happy 16 Months!

I am really running late this time, huh?

My favorite thing about life with Holden this month is that he is becoming so affectionate.  He hugs, kisses and blows kisses .... on top of his already infectious smile.

-Carmen

Moving Day

Everything is nuts right now.  I don't know how else to describe it.  We feel like shiny little pin balls bouncing from bumper to wall to curve.

The movers cleared out most of the house on Monday.  We have spent the better part of the week finishing the packing, moving and cleaning while juggling work, toddler and a sick and hormonal ME.

Stressed does not even begin to define the way Jordan, HOLDEN and I feel.  Yes, even Little Bit is stressed.  For the first time since the boy started eating solid food, he is not finishing meals.  He's just not himself.  Holden now becomes easily frustrated, which is not a trait he usually shares with us.

However, Holden, Jordan and I are starting to find our way and settle the waves.  All three of us are starting to sleep better and scrunch our eyebrows a little less.

Wait hold that thought.... crying baby (8:30 pm)

................ I spoke too soon.

An hour and forty minutes later of warm bath, rocking, milk and more rocking he is finally asleep (10:10 pm)

_______________________

My dear, sweet, wonderful, amazing, incredible .... extended family, Jordan's parents have lovingly welcomed us home while Jordan studies for an exam (can you say "promotion!")  Then it's apartment life for us once again as we pursue the Forever House.

We close on the "old" house next week.  Closing has been pushed back a few times, which is adding to the drama in our heads, but all is well and soon we will move on.

We are making another trip to my mom's tomorrow with another load (the last load) of "stuff" to store.  We filled up a large storage building with everything else.  

If you were to ask the macho-mover-man, he would say the storage building is full of my Christmas decorations.  I won't be having him over for tea anytime soon.

-Carmen

Table for Four

Guess what?  Jordan and I are expecting our second child in November!

Here is a 9 week sono of our little Gummy Bear....

We are through our lucky 13th week and all is well.  

I've been super sick with this newbie.  Even the doctor told me today, "you're probably having a girl."  She was only half joking.

Isn't life funny?

I thought after we had Holden it would be smooth sailing until Kindergarten.  Silly me!

I started a new job in October, we found out Holden is going to be a big brother and we sold our house if 4 days!  

Life is good....

-Carmen  

And So it Begins

I started drawing my dream house when I was 5 years old.

I wanted a red front door and a secret loft that you could only get to through my closet.

I collected shoe boxes and created models of each room, leaving them separate so that I could switch them around to make good use of the southern sun.

Shoe boxes turned into refrigerator boxes.

Then I learned how to draw building elevations and angles in perspective ... and then, it was ON.

I'd say I missed my calling, except this is the only building I ever cared to labor over.

After hundreds, of revisions and a multitude of changes in my taste .... my dream house evolved into what I now like to call the "Christmas House" a.k.a. our "Forever House."  

This glowing place is warm and inviting where the adults stuff themselves with turkey at the fancy dining room table, while the kids seated at the "kid's table" battle over who can shove more green beans in their mouth.

This is the place where we all snuggle up on the squishy sectional sofa in the family room and watch A Christmas Story for the umpteenth time in our PJs under fleece blankets, sharing handfuls of my homemade Chex Mix.

The lit Christmas tree can be seen from the road, sparkling behind large windows.... the large windows on the house nestled amongst trees, sky, family ... and love.  The house that smells like warm pumpkin pie and fluffy fresh just-out-of-the dryer towels.

__________________

We have sold our house.  Our first home as a family.  

In about a week, we will be leaving these walls to make a new home.

Thankfully, my incredible husband and I share this dream of our "Forever House," though he just calls it "bigger, nicer and more energy efficient."

We have picked out some land we love, and with any luck we will be in that dream house by January.

I can't believe we are actually doing this.  

____________________

I am sad, mostly because I hate taking Holden's room away from him.  

He will love his new room and backyard, though.

We have started packing, but it is hard.  I have moved soooo many times.  I hope this is the last time I ever have to move.

To make it easier on me, Jordan put on some Christmas music last night.  It was silly, but oh so very nice.

____________________

When we decided to list the house, I prayed that I would be given the strength to just go with it ... no matter what happens, because we are where we are suppose to be on this roller coaster ride, and if it is meant to be, it will be.

And it was .... in four days.

A family that desperately and quickly needs a home in this area found our house immediately and made an offer.

So here we go, on what may be the biggest journey Jordan and I ever take together.  Hang on......

-Carmen

First Big Boy Haircut (Feb '09)

We took Holden for his first big boy haircut back in February.

Of course, I am just now getting around to posting the pictures.

He was very curious, but did not fuss.

The third picture is my fave.  Click to enlarge.

-Carmen

For Sale 2005 Xterra $12,500

We bought a new car (bigger if you can believe it) and must say goodbye to the Xterra.

I am sad. I love this car.

So if you are interested, click on the image on the right in the sidebar to view specifics.

Here are some more pics.

Premature Excitement?

My sweet little baby walked, unassisted from Mrs. B's recliner to her sofa (about 3 or 4 feet) yesterday!  Stiff legged and determined.  

There is hope!

-Carmen

All Gone

This is the face Holden makes when you tell him the Easter candy is "all gone" just before he pouts and screams for more.

p.s. Holden is NOT wearing a baby toupee.

-Carmen

Happy Easter!

Mommy:  Holden, look over there it's the Easter Bunny!

Holden:  Yeah, he looks pretty cool.  Think I could sit on his lap?

Mommy:  I bet we could arrange that.  Look at all of those other kids sitting on his lap.  They look like they are having fun.  Let's get in line. Do you want me to go up there with you? 

Holden:  What do I look like? A baby? I've got this.

Happy Easter!!!

Shred and Stack, a Triptych

Holden created his first art piece this evening.  It is titled after his two favorite pastimes ... Shred and Stack.

-Carmen

Happy 15 Months!

My favorite thing about life with Holden this month is seeing his unique personality taking form.  Holden learned how to kiss with a resounding "sssmmmmmoooooch" and "smack."  He practices his kisses on mommy, daddy, his teddy bear .... his Fisher Price Barn.

Holden frequently acknowledges daddy with a "hey, dada!" 

He likes to play chase through the kitchen and around to the living room.  

Holden is still crawling, but can tackle the stairs in mere seconds.

Tonight I caught him "singing" into the Rock Band microphone.  He looked embarrassed when he realized I was watching. 

Holden still laughs and smiles constantly.  He is rarely sad, but when he is ... his blood-curdling screech shatters glass.

I love this little angel. 

In the words of my good friend H, when she met Reba McEntire.  Holden, I think "you're neat."

-Carmen

Warm Wishes for Mama

Dear Mama,

I have been thinking about you a lot, today and the news of PawPaw's recent and devastating diagnosis of Alzheimer.  

I am so sorry that things have been so tough on you and daddy lately.  I know how much you miss your mom .... I miss her, too.

I cannot imagine the heartache you have been experiencing each day or what it must take to muster up an occasional smile.  

I hope PawPaw is able to return home soon and that it is what he (and you) need to make peace with everything you have been experiencing. 

I wish I had the words to comfort you and wipe it all away.  Please know you are never alone and you have an entire community that loves you and will support you in the days ahead. 

Healing is coming. 

-Your Punkin

Pretty Bird

Post bath, mommy and daddy decided to set a wreath over sweet Holden.  He swished it around his waist like he was spinning a hula hoop, looking for an exit.

I think he looks pretty.

-Carmen  

Babies in PJs....

... are my favorite.

-Carmen

Bookworm

-Carmen

Happy 14 Months!

My favorite thing about life with Holden this month is his extensive vocabulary, and I'm not just talking about the audible version.  His sign language is also really moving along.  He kept signing "all done" to me while I was taking these pictures!

Holden can say....

Dada

Momma 

sounds like "muh-muh"

Uh-Oh

No

Thank You

sounds like "tankuuu"

Here Ya Go 

sounds like "he-u-toe"

I didn't realize how much we say this, but it must be a lot for him to pick up on it.

Poppy (Mr. B) 

NahNah (Mrs. B)

Nana (grandma, P)

Dogdog, or Doggie

Juice, Dada 

sounds like "jisss, dada"

Food

sounds nothing like food, but we know what he is saying, "a-bum"

More 

sounds like "muh-wha"

All done

sounds like "da-dun"

Holden now likes to take his shirt off by himself at bathtime, and when he is tired of me reading to him at bedtime he closes his book and signs "all done."

His favorite book is Green Eggs and Ham.  He laughs hysterically from cover to cover.

Holden was deprived of his paci a couple of weeks ago.  He did ok, but he was obviously sad.  When I gave it back to him the next day, he gleefully grabbed it and very clearly said, "thank you, thank you," popped it into his mouth and began dancing in his seat.  I wish he didn't like that thing so much, but he likes to chomp on it while he is teething.

.... oh that reminds me, he has 8 teeth now and isn't afraid to use them.

All done!

-Carmen

Baby Steps

Holden will be 14 months soon and shows little interest in walking.  I know, I know .... he will when he is ready.

Last night he amazed Jordan and I as he finally showed interest in a toy he usually cried over when we kindly suggested to him (on  several occasions) that it could help him walk.

Holden may not be a Kung Fu Master anytime soon, as that would require not only walking, but other slick and swift maneuvers.  He does however seem to be very smart.  Or at least to me he is.

Here is the best of both worlds.

Enjoy.  Turn on the volume you will hear my undoctored amazement as Holden performs.  Also, as he recites the alphabet (well the first 3 letters anyway) listen for his "C" it is too cute.

-Carmen

Happy 13 Months!

My favorite thing about life with Holden this month is his little attitude.  Yes, I know in a few more weeks it will be more annoying than cute.  For now, though .... cute.  

He becomes especially mad at Jordan and spouts off baby-babble curse words and high pitch screams then needs his mommy to pick him up and make it all better.  It drives Jordan insane.  

After Holden calms down from a fit of rage triggered by .... whatever (half the time we don't know what set him off) I will try to hand him to Jordan and it starts all over, again.  It's kind of funny, but not, but it is, but it really isn't, but it seriously is.

-Carmen

Heart, Breaking .... Healing

This is the post I have been dreading ... one reason it took so long to post it.

"Carmen?"

"Yes, momma?"

"It's time.  You need to come say your goodbyes, and she needs to see Holden one last time."

____________________

My dear sweet amazing Nanners passed away the last week of January.  That's why we have been silent.  

After two years of excruciating agony for her, my grandpa, my mom and my uncle ... she finally feels no more pain.  No longer is she trapped in a body that started giving up on this life fifteen years ago. 

 ____________________

Mom asked me to work on a slideshow for the service.  Likely the most bittersweet thing I have ever done.  Here are some of the pictures.  (FAMILY - check back later for a link to a protected album with all of the pictures used in the slideshow.)

second on left

on right, reminds me of Dorothy of OZ

with my mom and uncle

on left

with pawpaw

wedding

Nanners was .... is ... the most captivating woman I have ever seen.  I always picked out dark-headed dolls when I was little because they were beautiful like my grandma.  From her chiseled cheekbones to the taper of her wrist ... truly exquisite.

That same little girl that preferred the brunette to the blonde Barbie still has a romantic and naive-at-times heart still grasping to understand.  Grasping for something .... anything to hold on to.

____________________

Several days ago I zeroed in on a ladybug in our bathroom perched on the blinds on the window.  I noticed that she was more orange than red.  I decided to leave her in peace.  

A few days later, as I soaked in the tub I found the lovely more-orange-than-red ladybug swimming next to me.  I gently lifted her out and sat her on a washcloth.  As we stared nose-to-nose, I noticed her antennae wiggling rapidly.  I am pretty sure she was saying "thanks."  And I said, "you are welcome, " and proceeded to tell her about my grandma and how much I miss her.  

Again, I left her alone and went on my way.  I haven't seen her since, but I'm sure she is around here somewhere.

I've been calling her, "Nanners."

-humbled granddaughter, Carmen