So Many Pumpkins!

October through January is hand's down my most favorite time of the year.

I have been indulging on caramel apples, cider, caramel apple cider (notice a trend?), candy corn, slow cooked roast, chicken noodle soup, fuzzy pajama pants, a sweater on occasion and my new FAVORite candle that smells like firewood (it's called Bonfire and has a wood wick so it CrAcKlEs while it burns.)

But our new family tradition to kick off the holiday season (started last year) is taking Holden for pumpkin pics.

We had so much fun watching Holden run around touching, throwing and climbing every pumpkin in sight.

Feast your eyes... on these eyes.

Where's Holden??? .... click on picture to cheat (click even if you found him.)

This one cracks me up!

It was a good day with my two most favorite guys....

Here is a picture of me with my babies.  A dad at the pumpkin patch told his kids I was stealing a pumpkin under my shirt.   

And here's one for Cooper...

-Carmen

Baby Ben

We met up with some friends at the arboretum over the weekend.

Meet Holden's buddy, Ben with daddy .......

Isn't Ben's mommy GORGEOUS!

Ben was happy the entire day with this one exception.... I cannot resist.

-Carmen

My Shadow

This morning ... like many mornings during the last 35 weeks ... I made a mad dash to the restroom to make an offering to the porcelain gods.

Holden followed and stood behind me babbling.  

He reached out to pat me on the back and asked, "Momma, ok?"  

He's not even 2, yet?  How does he know?  He came around to the side and began mimicking mommy at her finest.  

It was hilarious and weird at the same time.

-Carmen  

Smile for the Day

I could not resist this........

Charming bundle of gushy lovin.....

Art by GDW

Performed by TBS

(Turn up volume, click on image and smile)

-Carmen

Cooper Napping

We had a 4D ultrasound yesterday to get a look at Cooper in action.  

He napped, face buried for about 10 minutes ... even after mommy had a hot dog and DP.  So, we took a break and I consumed a Twix and half a can of another DP (which all came back up an hour later ... what a waste!) to get him moving.

Cooper decided to roll over and even opened his eyes a little (that was super CREEPY by the way.)

He looks EXACTLY like Holden when H was born.  Which means he looks like Jordan.

Jordan even joked that he's not sure either boy is mine!

____________________

I have had such weird mixed feelings about how another baby fits in.  I couldn't wrap my brain around how we could possibly make a baby any different than the one we have.  

Who is this belly invader that keeps kicking me, anyway?

I am so GLAD we had the ultrasound.  It made all the difference in the world for me to see his sweet chubby cheeks and chubby arms.  Cooper felt familiar yet unique.  

When we saw his face clearly, it was like seeing him for the 100th time, and like the first ...  all at the same time.

He is perfect and special and I am a lucky mommy.

Only 6 weeks to go!

-Carmen

  

Happy 20 Months!

(Yea!  Mommy caught up!)

My favorite thing about life with Holden this month is how stubborn he is!  Yeah, I said it.  

It cracks me up when he refuses "cereal" because he prefers "fish" (Goldfish.)  

I get a kick out of chasing him through the kitchen at bathtime and love it when he would prefer to walk than for me to carry him.

I don't let him know how cute I think it is though.  After all, breaking the rules is wrong ... no matter how adorable he is.

-Carmen

Happy 19 Months!

My favorite thing about life with Holden in month 19 is that he is learning so much so quickly. He knows what the color "blue" is and he knows the difference in a used napkin and a clean one, and to put the dirty on in the trash can.

Holden shows a tremendous amount of curiosity about my growing belly and likes to "pet" it.

-Carmen

32 Week Report

We had our 32 week appointment with the OB, today. Nothing especially exciting. Cooper's heart rate is very strong and he is measuring just the right size. I got my flu shot and chatted with the best baby doctor on the planet. We discussed inducing just so I can deliver on her schedule .... yes, she is that good that I would predetermine my son's birthday around her availability.

When I stepped on the scale, my eyeballs almost fell out of my head. I had taken off my shoes and sweater and set my purse off to the side before getting on the platform, but then started searching my pockets for anything else I could strip myself of.

A fellow mother-to-be waiting her turn for the same torture saw my panic and asked me, "why did you even look?"

Morbid curiosity, I guess?????

Jordan and I will visit with the doctor two more times over the next four weeks, then the weekly appointments and countdown begin.

____________________

Holden started referring to his baby brother as "Baby Pooper" this evening. His keen sense of humor astounds me .... or inability to put a "C" with "oo." Whichever, it is pretty funny.

-Carmen

Cares Enough to Wear Pink

Click on flyer to enlarge....



Click on boots for more info....



-Carmen

I Heart Stogs

I'm overhauling the blog to make room for Cooper.

Please be advised, this blog will have the same address, but a new name.......

I Heart Stogs

I haven't changed the name yet, just a head's up.

-Carmen

So who's this Braxton Fella, Anyway?

The BH Contractions have begun!  Cooper is gearing up for his birth day.

If you ask Holden, "where's the baby?"  He will gladly pull up my shirt and tap on my belly.  Cute, unless you are in public ... then it's just a little embarrassing.

____________________

I forgot just how much fun living in an apartment is.  I told Jordan when we moved to our first house together (after I had lived in several dorm rooms and apartments over a span of several years) that I was so "glad I would NEVER have to live in another apartment!"  One glass of water to chase those words, please.

Don't get me wrong, I'm glad to have a place to sleep and hang out in my PJs on Sunday morning (and Saturday morning ... I'm wearing my FAVORITE velour sweat pants in light pink, a NEON green baggy t-shirt that has seen better days, and a gray granny sweater ... oh and these mauve slippers I can't live without.)  I did however forget how loud it is, and how many smells ... that aren't yours ... float through the air.

I think the best part is finding remnants of past tenants.  Well, Holden finds them for me.

He found a Gobstopper in a closet.  Thankfully, he brought it to me instead of putting it in his mouth.

That hasn't always been the case however..........

A couple of weeks ago, I was in Holden's room putting away laundry (Oh, and the Laundr - O - Mat, is devine ... blech!)  Holden was playing in the living room.  It was a little too quiet so I went to check on him.  

He was hunched over, gargoyle-style in the corner of the room ... very quiet and still.  I snuck around his side and noticed he was holding something to his mouth.  He was SUCKING on it .... it was orange.  I swooped in to take whatever he had.  

It was a dirt and hair covered Cheetoh!!!!  When Holden saw me coming he grinned a cheesy orange grin and said, "MMMMMM!!!!"

"Where did you get this?!?" I repeated over and over on my hands and knees searching for more of them.

I texted Jordan, "Please tell me you have been eating Cheetohs in the apartment!"  

He hadn't.

I finally found the crumb and goo graveyard under the fridge.

SOOOOOOO GROSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!

-Carmen

A Day in the Life of a Pregnant Lady

It's late, I'm tired and we stop at a drug store on the way home.  I have a bad headache that needs attention and Jordan needs some cookies 'n cream.

I go in, Jordan waits in the car with Holden.

Two registers are open with three people in line at each in front of me.

I'm waiting with my head meds and pint of ice cream when the guy checking at the register on the left loudly asks, "ma'am, are you ok?"  

He appears to be looking at me.  Stunned, I glance over each shoulder to see who he is addressing ... yep, he's talking to me.

"I'm fine."  Which came out in a stutter.

"You look like you are about to cry."

Thanks for that, buddy.  EVERYONE turns to see the pregnant lady about to cry clutching a box of pain reliever and a pint of Blue Bell.

"No, really I'm fine.  Just tired and feeling kind of big, today." Please stop staring at me.

The woman checking at the register on the right pipes in, "Yeah, sweetie.  You don't look so good.  You're flush."

YA THINK!  Maybe I'm flush because strangers are looking me over and diagnosing my emotional state.

"Seriously, I'm just tired."

"Well, she probably just needs to get home and eat that ice cream," the lovely lady at the register replies.  I suddenly notice she is missing a tooth in the front and can't stop staring at it ... or lack of it.

"Why don't you come on up here so we can get you out of here," she adds.

The sea of strangers parts for the pitiful woman with the enormous belly.  I shuffle to the front of the line with meds and ice cream against my chest ... in slow motion and I swear the music blasting over the PA stops so that I can hear my feet dragging on the tile.

The toothless hag tries to make conversation about how she is going home in an hour, should go to bed, but will stay online chatting all night.

"Well, you enjoy that ice cream, Honey."  She grins.

It's not even my ice cream!!!!!!

I'm almost home free.

The guy checking on the left yells to me as I approach the door, "bye!  Have a good night, I hope you feel better!"  And several well-wishers in line add similar comments as I sprint out the door.

-Carmen  

The Haps

Here's the abridged version......

We have a baby BOY due in 2 months, that we have decided to call Cooper.  

Holden, Jordan and I moved into an apartment about a month ago.

We are about 3 months behind where we would like to be on building the house. 

NOTE - if you decide to build a house, have a VERY good idea of what you want and nail down your budget and square footage before you move to the architect phase.  We did all of the above and STILL can't get a floorplan completed.

Hopefully, we will close on the land soon and break ground in the next couple of months .... just in time for the rainy season, and new baby ... YEA!

I think the best news right now is that we are sleeping in our comfy cozy king size bed again.  It is my most favorite place in the whole world.  It is so squishy and big and the mattress has a perfect indention of "me" curled up in the fetal position ... my little nest.

--------------------

I could lie for the sake of smiling and exuding positivity, but I'm not going to.... Yes, there are much worse things that a person could be going through, but right now ... for us ... this IS a lot.

We are incredibly tired and frustrated and don't feel that we are moving forward at this point.  I know it is coming ... I remind myself constantly that a year from now, it will all be ok.  But some days are really hard.  New job, new pregnancy, house sold, no house, waiting .... waiting ... waiting ... guilt ... guilt ... guilt.

I feel guilty that we took Holden's room, his home, his whole world away from him.  I feel even more guilty that Cooper will come home to a Pack and Play for a nursery.  I feel guilty that I don't practice the ABCs enough with Holden and that I'm too tired at the end of the day, now 31 weeks pregnant to play blocks in the floor with him.  I feel guilty that we still have personal belongings stashed away at my parents because our storage building is crammed full.  I feel guilty that I'm receiving donated time at work so that I can take off for recovery and get to know Cooper when he arrives.  I feel guilty that Jordan stresses about the new house.  I feel guilty that I don't see my mom, dad, sister and her family more.

--------------------

I'm going to go watch something funny, if I can find anything and curl up in my comfy cozy bed for the night.  I miss DirecTV.

-Carmen

Happy 18 Months!

Well, actually Holden is 20 months old now, but we are going to get caught up anyway.

My favorite thing about month 18 with Holden is how he flexes his imagination.  Everything he picks up is a spoon, a bowl and a delicious pretend meal.  He scoops imaginary peas to his mouth with a little plastic farm set pitch fork and politely squeals "UMMMMMM!"  

The boy likes to eat.

-Carmen

Existence is Futile

A good friend reminded me what a dud I've been about posting lately.

Thank you for the nudge KD.

So here is a picture of my sweet little angel boy, now 20 months.....

I'll try to get caught up soon.

-Carmen

Happy 17 Months!

Only a month late!  Not bad.....

My favorite thing about life with Holden this month is how SILLY he is.  He now makes valiant efforts to entertain us with his singing, clapping and dancing, silly faces and phrases.....

Oh, and did I mention he is officially WALKING!!!!!

Nana and I joke that he looks like drunk ET, the way he waddles around.  

He uses his baby signs and verbal words a lot more so he is easily picking up new signs on the first try.

Here he is signing his version of "water" with my lens cap.  He thinks he is suppose to water the plants when we go outside.  He is gently reminding me......

I am very proud to report that we have begun potty training and it is going surprisingly well.  Holden will go no. 1 in his potty before bathtime each day.  He thinks it is funny and chants "Tee tee. Tee tee," alternated with hissing snake-like (tee tee) sounds.  When finished doing his duty, he extends his hand for a "high five."  

Holden is fascinated with toilet paper and likes to tear off tiny pieces and drop them in the toilet or trash can.

Holden is very good at picking up stray items on the floor like leaves and he puts them in the trash or brings them to us.  If he finds Katie's dog food on the floor, he picks it up and puts it back in her bowl.

Every month I think he couldn't possibly be more fun, and I think "this is my favorite age," then he surprises me with a new talent or dance move and I decide, "no, this is my favorite age."

-Carmen

Goodnight, PawPaw

PawPaw drew his last breath on Monday.  We had family time and funeral service today.  

PawPaw isn't hurting anymore and now he is with my grandma.

I'm really struggling with a lot of feelings right now.  Today, Jordan and I attended the fourth funeral service since November.  

The first was a father the same age as me.  

Then we lost my grandma.  

The young man we said goodbye to last week was only 19 and had just enlisted in the Army.  He had no time, for whatever reason to experience so many things.  

I am thankful that PawPaw was blessed with a long vibrant story.  He impacted the lives of so many people and never met a stranger.  

PawPaw told the same stories over and over, again.  We knew them all by heart.  That was his thing.  

One of the many genetic gifts PawPaw shared with me was stubbornness, and as the eldest grandchild, epic battles ensued from time to time between the two of us.  

When I was probably 5, during a particularly heated discussion .... about what .... I don't know, but I'm sure I was doing something I wasn't suppose to.  PawPaw was getting on to me and I told him I was going to start calling him "PawPaw Poo Poo."  

That did not go over well.  

Being the sensitive child that I was, I used the new name over the next few years to get him good and mad.  Sinister?  You betcha, and it worked every time.  

I was finally scolded for being disrespectful and decided to squelch the name calling.  

Funny thing, though ... after it stopped, he was sad about it.  He started to refer to himself as PawPaw Poo Poo, and sometimes just Poo Poo.  I think he missed the banter.

PawPaw lived his life fully ... he has met 6 of his great-grand-babies.  That makes for a pretty amazing life.

-Carmen      

Property of the Mouse

A good friend of ours recently noted that Holden's shaggy coif makes him look like "Property of Disney."  I thought that was hilarious.... and so true.

Holden went in for a trim last weekend, so here's one last peek at his teeny bopper, boy-bandy 'do.

-Carmen

Closing and other Stuff

It is official! We are homeless.

We closed last Friday on our old house.

I called Jordan later that afternoon and asked if he felt lighter and happier, because I sure did. He also felt a sense of relief. We didn't realize how much worry we devoted to selling the house. We floated along and never really talked about that part.

We are both so glad that chapter is closed.

Things are going ok. We are still adjusting.

Holden was in a super fabulous mood today. It was probably the first day we were completely back on schedule ... his schedule.

I had a rough week physically, last week. For whatever reason, I was extremely sick and became very dehydrated. A trip to the ER and an IV of a couple of bags of fluid perked me right up, though.

Jordan and I have a meeting with an architect/engineer in a couple of weeks to start working on the new house. I can hardly sit still I'm so excited. We have a lot of homework before then ... but it is fun homework.

In an effort to buy Holden's love and affection and perhaps to curb some of the recent and relentless tears, Jordan and I picked out a castle/slide/swing set.

I can feel the love. Can you?




-Carmen

This is What ......

cutting 4 molars at one time looks like.....

-Carmen

Happy 16 Months!

I am really running late this time, huh?

My favorite thing about life with Holden this month is that he is becoming so affectionate.  He hugs, kisses and blows kisses .... on top of his already infectious smile.

-Carmen

Moving Day

Everything is nuts right now.  I don't know how else to describe it.  We feel like shiny little pin balls bouncing from bumper to wall to curve.

The movers cleared out most of the house on Monday.  We have spent the better part of the week finishing the packing, moving and cleaning while juggling work, toddler and a sick and hormonal ME.

Stressed does not even begin to define the way Jordan, HOLDEN and I feel.  Yes, even Little Bit is stressed.  For the first time since the boy started eating solid food, he is not finishing meals.  He's just not himself.  Holden now becomes easily frustrated, which is not a trait he usually shares with us.

However, Holden, Jordan and I are starting to find our way and settle the waves.  All three of us are starting to sleep better and scrunch our eyebrows a little less.

Wait hold that thought.... crying baby (8:30 pm)

................ I spoke too soon.

An hour and forty minutes later of warm bath, rocking, milk and more rocking he is finally asleep (10:10 pm)

_______________________

My dear, sweet, wonderful, amazing, incredible .... extended family, Jordan's parents have lovingly welcomed us home while Jordan studies for an exam (can you say "promotion!")  Then it's apartment life for us once again as we pursue the Forever House.

We close on the "old" house next week.  Closing has been pushed back a few times, which is adding to the drama in our heads, but all is well and soon we will move on.

We are making another trip to my mom's tomorrow with another load (the last load) of "stuff" to store.  We filled up a large storage building with everything else.  

If you were to ask the macho-mover-man, he would say the storage building is full of my Christmas decorations.  I won't be having him over for tea anytime soon.

-Carmen

Table for Four

Guess what?  Jordan and I are expecting our second child in November!

Here is a 9 week sono of our little Gummy Bear....

We are through our lucky 13th week and all is well.  

I've been super sick with this newbie.  Even the doctor told me today, "you're probably having a girl."  She was only half joking.

Isn't life funny?

I thought after we had Holden it would be smooth sailing until Kindergarten.  Silly me!

I started a new job in October, we found out Holden is going to be a big brother and we sold our house if 4 days!  

Life is good....

-Carmen  

And So it Begins

I started drawing my dream house when I was 5 years old.

I wanted a red front door and a secret loft that you could only get to through my closet.

I collected shoe boxes and created models of each room, leaving them separate so that I could switch them around to make good use of the southern sun.

Shoe boxes turned into refrigerator boxes.

Then I learned how to draw building elevations and angles in perspective ... and then, it was ON.

I'd say I missed my calling, except this is the only building I ever cared to labor over.

After hundreds, of revisions and a multitude of changes in my taste .... my dream house evolved into what I now like to call the "Christmas House" a.k.a. our "Forever House."  

This glowing place is warm and inviting where the adults stuff themselves with turkey at the fancy dining room table, while the kids seated at the "kid's table" battle over who can shove more green beans in their mouth.

This is the place where we all snuggle up on the squishy sectional sofa in the family room and watch A Christmas Story for the umpteenth time in our PJs under fleece blankets, sharing handfuls of my homemade Chex Mix.

The lit Christmas tree can be seen from the road, sparkling behind large windows.... the large windows on the house nestled amongst trees, sky, family ... and love.  The house that smells like warm pumpkin pie and fluffy fresh just-out-of-the dryer towels.

__________________

We have sold our house.  Our first home as a family.  

In about a week, we will be leaving these walls to make a new home.

Thankfully, my incredible husband and I share this dream of our "Forever House," though he just calls it "bigger, nicer and more energy efficient."

We have picked out some land we love, and with any luck we will be in that dream house by January.

I can't believe we are actually doing this.  

____________________

I am sad, mostly because I hate taking Holden's room away from him.  

He will love his new room and backyard, though.

We have started packing, but it is hard.  I have moved soooo many times.  I hope this is the last time I ever have to move.

To make it easier on me, Jordan put on some Christmas music last night.  It was silly, but oh so very nice.

____________________

When we decided to list the house, I prayed that I would be given the strength to just go with it ... no matter what happens, because we are where we are suppose to be on this roller coaster ride, and if it is meant to be, it will be.

And it was .... in four days.

A family that desperately and quickly needs a home in this area found our house immediately and made an offer.

So here we go, on what may be the biggest journey Jordan and I ever take together.  Hang on......

-Carmen

First Big Boy Haircut (Feb '09)

We took Holden for his first big boy haircut back in February.

Of course, I am just now getting around to posting the pictures.

He was very curious, but did not fuss.

The third picture is my fave.  Click to enlarge.

-Carmen

For Sale 2005 Xterra $12,500

We bought a new car (bigger if you can believe it) and must say goodbye to the Xterra.

I am sad. I love this car.

So if you are interested, click on the image on the right in the sidebar to view specifics.

Here are some more pics.

Premature Excitement?

My sweet little baby walked, unassisted from Mrs. B's recliner to her sofa (about 3 or 4 feet) yesterday!  Stiff legged and determined.  

There is hope!

-Carmen

All Gone

This is the face Holden makes when you tell him the Easter candy is "all gone" just before he pouts and screams for more.

p.s. Holden is NOT wearing a baby toupee.

-Carmen

Happy Easter!

Mommy:  Holden, look over there it's the Easter Bunny!

Holden:  Yeah, he looks pretty cool.  Think I could sit on his lap?

Mommy:  I bet we could arrange that.  Look at all of those other kids sitting on his lap.  They look like they are having fun.  Let's get in line. Do you want me to go up there with you? 

Holden:  What do I look like? A baby? I've got this.

Happy Easter!!!

Shred and Stack, a Triptych

Holden created his first art piece this evening.  It is titled after his two favorite pastimes ... Shred and Stack.

-Carmen

Happy 15 Months!

My favorite thing about life with Holden this month is seeing his unique personality taking form.  Holden learned how to kiss with a resounding "sssmmmmmoooooch" and "smack."  He practices his kisses on mommy, daddy, his teddy bear .... his Fisher Price Barn.

Holden frequently acknowledges daddy with a "hey, dada!" 

He likes to play chase through the kitchen and around to the living room.  

Holden is still crawling, but can tackle the stairs in mere seconds.

Tonight I caught him "singing" into the Rock Band microphone.  He looked embarrassed when he realized I was watching. 

Holden still laughs and smiles constantly.  He is rarely sad, but when he is ... his blood-curdling screech shatters glass.

I love this little angel. 

In the words of my good friend H, when she met Reba McEntire.  Holden, I think "you're neat."

-Carmen

Warm Wishes for Mama

Dear Mama,

I have been thinking about you a lot, today and the news of PawPaw's recent and devastating diagnosis of Alzheimer.  

I am so sorry that things have been so tough on you and daddy lately.  I know how much you miss your mom .... I miss her, too.

I cannot imagine the heartache you have been experiencing each day or what it must take to muster up an occasional smile.  

I hope PawPaw is able to return home soon and that it is what he (and you) need to make peace with everything you have been experiencing. 

I wish I had the words to comfort you and wipe it all away.  Please know you are never alone and you have an entire community that loves you and will support you in the days ahead. 

Healing is coming. 

-Your Punkin