The Worst Day of My Life…

… was down-graded to intensely frustrating and sad.

My first day of work, yesterday was very hard, but everyone lived.

I sobbed a wee bit after I dropped Holden off and felt really nauseated most of the morning. I must have looked back at the baby rearview mirror a dozen times expecting him to be there after I dropped him off.

I think the thing I found the most bothersome was sitting in traffic. I never enjoyed the one hour commute before (which is now more like a one and a quarter hour commute with all the new residents in this area, and not including drop off time at Mrs. B’s,) but now I think about things in “Holden time.” I couldn’t believe I was sitting in my car inching along when all I wanted was to be with my son. I also had another excruciating commute at the end of the day to look forward to before I could hold him again.

One of the things I will hop up on my soap box about in a split second is freewill and CHOICE so I am VERY aware how whiny I sound right now … I choose to work where I do … I choose to live really far away from that location….

The day was ok when it got going. I didn’t realize how much I missed my coworkers, my desk, my chair, my email, my job.

Don’t get me wrong, I was still running out the door when it was time to leave and pick up my baby boy.

Holden was in his original packaging when I arrived at Mrs. B’s. He was content.

OK, I have to be honest. I don’t know what I was really expecting … he is only 3 months old … but I don’t think he had any idea I was missing from his day! OUCH! I certainly don’t want him to be upset, but a “hey, mom … I’m so glad to see you,” wouldn’t hurt.

Moving on…….

One of my bestest friends in the whole wide world had a birthday celebration last night and Holden and I attended her birthday party at a Greek restaurant. The food was fab and we had a great time.

As mentioned in a previous post, Holden demands to be bathed at 8:00 pm. I started to panic around 7:30.

Poor baby didn’t get his bath until 9:00 pm. He was extra fussy by the time we got home, and I laid him on his changing table to get him ready for bath time. Also mentioned in a previous post, we are using baby sign language with Holden. I made the sign for “bath” with my hands and he magically calmed down, smiled, and cooed! I took his hands and made little fists with them, and moved his hands the same way to sign “bath.” He smiled even bigger. “Well look at that!” It is working! Thank you KD for giving me that sign language book!

We were really rolling along.

Holden enjoyed his bath as usual. I dried, lotioned, and PJed him before his last bottle for the night, all the while reflecting on how the day really went much smoother than I anticipated.

Then…..

I was feeding Holden and I started to sweat profusely, I started getting really lightheaded, and I was shaking. As some of you know, I have hypoglycemia. Well, I was “crashing.” And as my mother and husband have observed, when it happens, it happens fast. I hate to take the bottle from Holden during a feeding, but obviously it was necessary. I laid him down to find something to eat and shove it in my mouth so I could return to feeding Holden. I felt awful. He was screaming and I was shaking trying to hold the bottle to his mouth. A pitiful sight.

My body finally started to relax and the shaking started to subside, then Holden spewed milk all over my new work clothes. It ran down my sweater, down my pants, and all over the chair. I was sitting in it and it was soaking into my clothes and the chair, but I didn’t care. I just wanted to finish feeding him so we could both go to bed.

Eventually I got everyone and everything cleaned up (it was the most spit up I have ever seen,) and we went to bed.

I melted into my bed, a bed I LOVE by the way, and drifted into sleep.

Holden woke up at 4am and we started a whole new day. Complete with a VERY poopy diaper as we were suppose to be heading out the door.


THIS JUST IN … BREAKING NEWS!!!

Olive the cat, walked up to Holden, who was sitting in his bouncy chair and Holden noticed! This is the first time he has paid any attention to the cats. They were nose-to-nose, checking each other out. When Olive walked away, Holden’s eyes followed her.

I am sleepy and delirious. Time to put all the Stogsdills in bed.

And goodnight to all!

-Carmen