Happy Memorial Day Weekend!

Holden was super talkative this morning at 6:30 am and mommy was not ready to get up. After Holden polished off a bottle, I put him in bed with me. He continued to talk for a while then finally we both fell back to sleep. Jordan arrived home from his shift and crawled in bed with us so we could all snuggle. Holden thought it was time to play, though.

Happy Memorial Day Weekend!

-Carmen

ethel MERMAN

Some happy thoughts to follow yesterday's post....

I have many nicknames for Holden.  

Stinky McStinksalot

Jabberwocky

Sir Smelly Pants

Poopy McPoopsalot

Munchkin

Punkin

Tooty McTootsalot

Sometimes I get him confused with the cat and call him Onion

I have a new one...

Merman.  

This week he has started linking his ankles together and pushing his legs out straight.  It looks like the mister version of a mermaid.  Then he points and flexes his feet.  The kicker is when he does it in the bathtub.

Silly Monkey

-Carmen

The Tippetts 3

We plan and march like ants driven by our missions and tasks.

Urging on with blinders.

Breathing in. Breathing out.

Lists in one hand. A list of our lists in the other.

Dodging bump and pothole. Ducking beneath the low branches.

Sun comes up. Sun goes down.

Control.

I mentioned “surprises” in a recent post. Jordan and I found out last week that our family was going to be blessed with another niece or nephew.

Sawyer had on a “Big Bro” t-shirt on during our Mother’s Day trip to my mom’s house to announce the happy surprise.

Funny how things can change in one week, as we press forward in our single file lines…. heads straight and facing front.

I don’t even know what to say and I don’t want to speak for my dear sister, but this week’s news is much more somber.

We plan and march like ants … driven ….

Click here for her story……

I was listening to a DJ this morning talking about a band, Death Cab for Cutie and how they don’t polish out all the kinks and flubs from their recordings.

In a saccharin world, I found this somehow refreshing. What a novel concept. Humans being human …. What? What’s that? Imperfect? Imperfect in PUBLIC? GASP!

The DJ ended his comments with, "can you tell where they messed up?" I concentrated looking for what was "wrong" instead of loving everything that made it right. And no. No, I couldn't tell.

I admire my Sara and her strength.

“These things happen.”

Yes, but it still hurts, and hurting …. hurts.

And sometimes being real and vulnerable when EVERYONE is looking is just what we need.

Repeat after me, “I am human. The bumps will get in my way and I will stumble. I will nosedive into a multitude of potholes. I am going to be ok.”


Now, go hug your momma. Go hug your kids.


-Carmen

Look Ma, BOTH Hands!

We have started quasi-spoon feeding.  Once or twice a day, we attempt to give junior a bit of cereal.  Calling this stuff cereal is actually very misleading.  It should be called mush, or gruel, or ... nasty.  

Step 1 - shove a little nasty into Holden's mouth.  Step 2 - Holden smacks his gums, wrinkles his nose, giggles, and shoves it back out with his tongue.  Step 3 - Repeat Step 1.  Continue until you are so grossed out you need to step out for a little fresh air. 

This kid talks and laughs a LOT!  If this is any indication of his future personality, we either have another Rowdy or Mi Mi on our hands.

Our dear son held his bottle through an entire feeding by himself, today.  I think it was a fluke, but we will test it again later.

I have been under the weather this week... way under the weather.  I can't talk today, a touch of laryngitis (I didn't even have to look that word up!)  My mom was forced to discover the wonderful world of text messaging.  I had to miss cousin H's grad party, today.  Sorry, H.  I really wanted to be there.

Well, we've got another busy week ahead of us and the laundry STILL isn't doing itself.  

Funny story - My husband was disappointed that I took away his "magic" laundry basket when we got married ... when he lived at his parent's house, he put dirty clothes into the magic basket and they reappeared washed and folded.  

We all have our dreams.  I now have a magic toilet seat that seems to open up on its own when no one is looking.  I could do without THAT magic.

Have a great week!

-Carmen   

So Many Firsts, So Little Time

We have been very busy bees!

I’ll start with Holden’s new tricks.

Holden has become so fascinated with the tools we call “hands” as mentioned in the Happy 4 Months post.

He has been making attempts to hold his bottle for a while, but now it is much more deliberate. Last week, he was holding his bottle (mommy balanced the end of it on the tip of her finger, like training wheels) as he watched his hands intently. Holden pulled the bottle away to take a deep breath. When he was rested and decided to continue his meal, he tried to replace the bottle, but instead missed his giant mouth and squished it into his nose, then his cheek, then his other cheek. Mommy laughed momentarily before assisting. A few days after that …. same scenario … this time he was chasing the bottle. Holden’s face was leaning forward with mouth wide open, but his hands were also moving forward as he grunted. Mommy laughed some more.

This one might be my favorite. Also mentioned in previous posts – Holden loves his bath and “bath” is one of the two bits of sign language we use with him. He has been showing great excitement when we sign “bath” to him and then hold his hands to make the sign again on his chest. Now when we make the sign for “bath” he pulls his fists to his chest all on his own in anticipation!

Holden has been placing his arm over his mouth to hold his pacifier in place, and when it falls out, sometimes he picks it up with his chubby fingers and puts it back in his mouth.

When Holden is super sleepy, he takes his giraffe blankie (or burp rag, whichever is within reach) and covers his eyes to shield them from the light.

This is a not so good first … Holden received round 3 of vaccines which resulted in a very high fever. He has also developed his first cold complete with snot and coughing. It is so sad to watch him like this. He has been sleeping almost all day and isn’t eating much. Poor little guy is wiped out.

Over the Mother’s Day weekend (or first Mother’s Day,) we visited with my parents. Holden finally met my Pawpaw (another first.) My sister, brother-in-law, and Sawyer were all there. Sawyer has also been very ill lately, but I think they have it under control now (cross your fingers.) He took a nose dive off of a bench and broke his fall with his face the day before they arrived … you can see the marks in the pictures.

Holden gave me a rain shower head for Mother’s Day. Ironically, Jordan has been regrouting the tile in the shower this week, so I won’t get to use it for a while … but it sure is shiny!

I feel like I am rambling, trying to get caught up….

I’m leaving out some other goodies, but they are surprises (no I am not pregnant.) More later…..

Here are the Mother’s Day pictures … none of me and Holden … I forgot about that.

Happy 4 Months!

My favorite thing about Holden this month is that he seems so interested in his hands.  Before, a hand may make it's way to his mouth, or it may not.  Now his hand is intentionally placed in his mouth ... his whole hand ... to the point of gagging.

-Carmen

Saturdaze

A friend from work was married this evening.  I joined the usual suspects for the show.  Perhaps one of you lovely ladies can contribute a picture?

We had a blast.  It was one of the most beautiful weddings I have ever seen.  

This afternoon I tried to put on my standard wedding attire only to find my halter dress fits my "mommy" figure much differently than it once did.  So I reluctantly found slacks that fit and a brassiere and top that didn't.  

Holden and I made a mad dash through Dillards looking for replacements for the latter.  I found a top, but my ill-fitting bra was a little too ill.  Bolted over to intimates.  All the while Holden is laughing at me as I am panting and rushing from one shiny black strapless to the next.  Eureka found one!  Please let this fit, please let this fit.  In the dressing room I start explaining to Holden the finer points and burdens of being a female.  He laughs some more.  I said, "be glad you are a boy," and he tooted so loud and triumphantly I was afraid every lady in the dressing room would think it was me.  He is definitely a boy ... and completely unburdened.

-Carmen

    

Baby Love at First Sight

Meet Holden's girlfriend.... Maya. You can tell by the looks on their faces just how thrilled they are to be smashed together for their moms' amusement.

This may rank up there with my cats in sweaters.

Who's next?

Jordan better sleep with one eye open ... tee hee hee.

-Carmen

Ten Fingers Five Hundred Toes

Holden is getting so big (sniff sniff.)  I retired all 50 of his itty bitty baby socks a few weeks ago.  They have been sitting in a bag ... waiting.  Waiting for what?  I don't know.  I guess it is time to join them with all the clothes he has outgrown in a storage container headed for the attic (triple sniff.)

The cutie pie "undies" are a gift from my good friend DD.  I get the giggles when Holden wears them.  He is in size 3 diapers now and on the verge of another upgrade.  We'll have to add a "C" to the "hunk" on his rear before too long.... except they won't fit much longer (quadruple sniff.)

-Carmen

...Keeps the Doctor Away

I have a confession to make......  

I crossed over to the dark side.

I bought a mac.

I'm posting from it right now.

I thought I could never get past some of Apple's quirks.  

They sucked us in with all their hype and shine. 

PC and mac live in harmony in our home. 

Now I can do cool things like this....

(Click play, let it buffer ... speakers on.)

-Carmen

Stay Tuned

Still adjusting to being back at work..... I don't mean to harp on the subject, I know I talk about it a lot, but man, am I TIRED!

I'll have some cutey cute pictures and maybe something interesting to say soon. Did I mention I'm sleepy. At this particular moment I feel like an old momma so all I've got is a Yo Momma joke so duck.....

Yo momma’s so old her social security number is 1!


(tap, tap, tap) Is this thing on?

Thank you .... I'll be here all week! And goodnight.

-Carmen

Tee Hee Hee

Holden and I were at the mall today, and he broke out into a rant about the price of gas. I, of course, pulled out the ole camera phone. Holden had been talking for several minutes before I started to record. Then we started to draw a crowd so I had to cut off the camera and console the little guy. He was LOUD!

Click on the PLAY button. It should start playing on it's own, but allow it to finish buffering. Make sure your speakers are on.



We had a couple of other cute "happenings," today.

I laid Holden's little blankie with a giraffe head on his chest. The giraffe is named Gerry. Holden chomped on Gerry's giraffe antennae (what are those things, anyway?) and tried to suck on his face. It looked like they were kissing. When Holden fell asleep, he had Gerry hugged up against his chest with his arm. Soooo cute.

Forgive me for posting this, but it was so funny. Back at home, Holden was tooting and Olive, the cat, was meowing in reply. Toot ... Meow ... toot ... meow ... TOOT ... MEOW ... TTTOOOOTTTT ... MMMEEOOOWWWW.

-Carmen

Four Corners

Jordan and I love working on our house, but we are s - l - o - w about it. Holden's room is close enough to done to post some pictures. Click on any of them to enlarge.

I still plan to add some of Jennifer's photos above the crib and I may put something on the wall behind the chair.

Jordan and I painted the walls green when we found out we were having a baby. I painted a sky on the ceiling. It looks kind of like an open skylight.

Other special crafty additions include the blue shelf that Jordan made and I painted, the family tree I made, the H O L D E N above the crib was cut by Jordan and painted by me, I added tags to the baskets that can be changed out when the items inside change, and I added wooden bees with "jet streams" coming from their rears on the ceiling.

Happy 3 Months!

Holden is 3 months old!

Holden had his first sleepover without mom and dad. He stayed with his Nana and Rowdy Friday night.

The mister and I had grand plans to go to a movie, but we were too tired. So, we went home and popped the top on a bottle of champagne from our wedding to celebrate mommy not quitting her job (that is how Jordan put it.) We even dragged out the champagne flutes instead of using coffee mugs. When Jordan left the room to get refills ... I fell asleep.

Onion was really concerned about the lack of baby. She wandered around the house looking for Holden and stood in front of his door over and over trying to peek in until he came home.

Holden and I are just hanging out today. I have some WORK work to take care of, but I'm waiting for junior to nap.

My favorite thing about life with Holden this month is how he tilts his head and shrugs his shoulders when he smiles. He also sticks out his bottom lip when he is sad ... this makes mommy laugh, which usually makes Holden laugh, too.

-Carmen

Patches

When we were kids, my sister and I would spend a week with my grandparents during the summer. During the day we would party it up with Nanners. We could turn the TV up loud, we had music on and danced around the house, we played with anything we wanted, and laughed a ton.

I remember one afternoon while Nanners was ironing Pawpaw’s shirts, I was wadding up ruled notebook paper and dollar bills then asking her to iron them for me. Over and over again, I would crumple up the paper and money and she would iron them flat … just because I asked.

At some point in the afternoon each day we had to stop, pick up the Tinker Toys, and turn off the TV … Pawpaw was on his way home. Our faces were cleaned, our backs straightened up, and our mouths became quiet.

I always loved that. We lived it up all day and no one ever knew.

Grandma had this ceramic dog (I’ll call him Patches) in what was my mom’s room when she was a kid. I was always a little creeped out by it, but now I love it. I brought it home for Holden.





















-Carmen

Back Off Ladies, He’s Mine

Usually I say that as a joke when the husband does something gross like burp the alphabet, but this time…….

Per suggestions I found in a Baby Center article about two income households and sharing chores, we made a list of all the things we have to get done each day and then each week … the usual suspects like laundry and mowing. We divvied the chores and typed up the list.

One of the big things that Jordan claimed was dinner. Jordan has greeted me with a warm home cooked meal for the last two nights. And he didn’t phone it in, either. We had baked tilapia, rice, and broccoli with cheese last night, and we had meatballs, pasta, and green beans tonight.

My beloved husband has taken a HUGE load off my shoulders not only with the daily task of dinner, but with housework and help getting Holden ready to go in the morning (when he isn’t working.)

So burp on, baby!

Baby news …. Holden laughed real laughs, today. Mrs. B had him rolling when I arrived to pick him up. I tried to recreate the moment for Jordan when we got home, but Holden wasn’t interested.

If you have seen Holden lately you are probably talking about his hair, behind his back. It is getting so thin and patchy. Gone (or fading) are the dark locks he arrived on the planet with. So sad. On the upside, Jordan and I examined his receding hairline and there is blonde hair growing in. He is going to be a calico baby before long.

-Carmen

The Worst Day of My Life…

… was down-graded to intensely frustrating and sad.

My first day of work, yesterday was very hard, but everyone lived.

I sobbed a wee bit after I dropped Holden off and felt really nauseated most of the morning. I must have looked back at the baby rearview mirror a dozen times expecting him to be there after I dropped him off.

I think the thing I found the most bothersome was sitting in traffic. I never enjoyed the one hour commute before (which is now more like a one and a quarter hour commute with all the new residents in this area, and not including drop off time at Mrs. B’s,) but now I think about things in “Holden time.” I couldn’t believe I was sitting in my car inching along when all I wanted was to be with my son. I also had another excruciating commute at the end of the day to look forward to before I could hold him again.

One of the things I will hop up on my soap box about in a split second is freewill and CHOICE so I am VERY aware how whiny I sound right now … I choose to work where I do … I choose to live really far away from that location….

The day was ok when it got going. I didn’t realize how much I missed my coworkers, my desk, my chair, my email, my job.

Don’t get me wrong, I was still running out the door when it was time to leave and pick up my baby boy.

Holden was in his original packaging when I arrived at Mrs. B’s. He was content.

OK, I have to be honest. I don’t know what I was really expecting … he is only 3 months old … but I don’t think he had any idea I was missing from his day! OUCH! I certainly don’t want him to be upset, but a “hey, mom … I’m so glad to see you,” wouldn’t hurt.

Moving on…….

One of my bestest friends in the whole wide world had a birthday celebration last night and Holden and I attended her birthday party at a Greek restaurant. The food was fab and we had a great time.

As mentioned in a previous post, Holden demands to be bathed at 8:00 pm. I started to panic around 7:30.

Poor baby didn’t get his bath until 9:00 pm. He was extra fussy by the time we got home, and I laid him on his changing table to get him ready for bath time. Also mentioned in a previous post, we are using baby sign language with Holden. I made the sign for “bath” with my hands and he magically calmed down, smiled, and cooed! I took his hands and made little fists with them, and moved his hands the same way to sign “bath.” He smiled even bigger. “Well look at that!” It is working! Thank you KD for giving me that sign language book!

We were really rolling along.

Holden enjoyed his bath as usual. I dried, lotioned, and PJed him before his last bottle for the night, all the while reflecting on how the day really went much smoother than I anticipated.

Then…..

I was feeding Holden and I started to sweat profusely, I started getting really lightheaded, and I was shaking. As some of you know, I have hypoglycemia. Well, I was “crashing.” And as my mother and husband have observed, when it happens, it happens fast. I hate to take the bottle from Holden during a feeding, but obviously it was necessary. I laid him down to find something to eat and shove it in my mouth so I could return to feeding Holden. I felt awful. He was screaming and I was shaking trying to hold the bottle to his mouth. A pitiful sight.

My body finally started to relax and the shaking started to subside, then Holden spewed milk all over my new work clothes. It ran down my sweater, down my pants, and all over the chair. I was sitting in it and it was soaking into my clothes and the chair, but I didn’t care. I just wanted to finish feeding him so we could both go to bed.

Eventually I got everyone and everything cleaned up (it was the most spit up I have ever seen,) and we went to bed.

I melted into my bed, a bed I LOVE by the way, and drifted into sleep.

Holden woke up at 4am and we started a whole new day. Complete with a VERY poopy diaper as we were suppose to be heading out the door.


THIS JUST IN … BREAKING NEWS!!!

Olive the cat, walked up to Holden, who was sitting in his bouncy chair and Holden noticed! This is the first time he has paid any attention to the cats. They were nose-to-nose, checking each other out. When Olive walked away, Holden’s eyes followed her.

I am sleepy and delirious. Time to put all the Stogsdills in bed.

And goodnight to all!

-Carmen

Dread

Today is my first day back at work. Holden and I got ready really early. I didn't know how long it woud take me to get both of us up fed, bathed, dressed, etc. and what my "emotional" state would be so now I have a few minutes to kill before we head to Mrs. B's house. Jordan was here to help out with Holden this morning.

I didn't sleep much. Stupid thoughts...

I feel sick at my tummy.

Have I mentioned how much I don't want to do this?

-Carmen

Pinky Binky

Holden likes one pacifier and all others gag him. We couldn't find any where we shop, so we ordered 2 pairs online.

I love getting packages in the mail. It doesn't really matter what is in them. I like opening the box. It makes me feel important. So I was very upset with Jordan when he opened the shipment of pacifiers.

"Carmen, you need to see this," he said. Jordan held up 2 baby blue pacifiers .... and 2 pink pacifiers! I love it. It drives me nuts that baby boy stuff HAS to be blue and baby girl stuff HAS to be pink. Come on, it's just a color (and a pretty color at that, tee hee hee.)

So here is my baby boy with his pink paci (sorry about the cell phone quality.)

While I'm adding cell phone stuff....

I put Holden in bed with me the other day because I wasn't ready to get up .... but he certainly was. This movie is about 3 mintues long and Holden starts to get fussy toward the end.

When I played it back for Holden, he calmed down, watched himself, and talked along with himself. Then when he started getting upset in the video, he started getting upset in real time. It was so cute. Again, it is from my cell phone in the dark, so forgive the quality. Turn up the volume!

-Carmen

Last Dance

Well, this is it.....

I just finished feeding Holden and as you can see by the timestamp, ‘tis early.

Jordan wakes up, falls back to sleep easily, and still gets enough rest. I don't. Bedtime for me is long and frustrating. Waking up and “trying” to go back to sleep is worse. I also need 9 – 10 hours of sleep to function at 100%. That rarely happened before baby … now it never happens.

Initially, Jordan was going to take the “after-hours” feedings. I’m not very nice when I wake up, I’ll admit it. I hate waking up … makes me feel sick at my stomach (my mom is nodding her head right now.) However, the GUILT usually propels my behind out of bed even when Jordan is at home. Holden needs something STAT, you can hear it in his voice. I don’t want to bother my husband, he is after all “sleeping like a baby.” I feel guilty if Holden has to wait very long or if he has to “get loud” before someone fixes “it.”

Ahhhhh, Mommy Guilt … can I get an “amen” from all the mommies out there?

That stuff will eat you up.

Today is our last day before I go back to work. I am so grateful that I have had this time to spend with my first baby. I know a lot of moms don’t have this opportunity.

I’m still not ready though. I doubt many mommies are ever ready. I had to use every last drop of “leave” to do it, but it was worth it. I just can’t get sick until January 2009….

-Carmen

TheRe’s nO PlaCe liKe hoMe

When Holden and I visited my parents over the Easter weekend, I asked mom if I could have a pair of my grandmother’s shoes.

Even as a kid I noticed that Nanners had nice shoes. She kept each pair in the original box. The shoe boxes were stacked a mile high in her closet.

I remember playing in her closet (do all kids do that?) and marveling at the tower of purples, oranges, greens, and pinks stacked so neatly.

I didn’t keep my shoes in boxes. Mom and dad didn’t keep their shoes in the boxes.

Nanner’s shoes must be special magic shoes that sleep in boxes so the magic doesn’t leak out.

I hope someday I can fill her magic shoes…..

-Carmen

New Banner

My family keeps asking "where are the pictures of you, Carmen?" I'm usually taking the pictures so there aren't many with me in them.

Jennifer sent our family portrait so I could incorporate it in the new banner I was creating. She is such a sweetie!

So there ya go. I'm on here now.

-Carmen

Joyeux Anniversaire Nana

We celebrated Holden’s Nana’s birthday this evening with a little Babe’s Chicken and Hokey Pokey. A good time was had by all.

Holden was in an especially joyous mood, and he allowed Nana, Nanaw (my hubby’s grandma,) and Rowdy the great pleasure of hearing his babyspeak. He was laying it on thick with a double dose of smiles and coos.




Holden can become quite nasty if we get off our daily routine. Sometimes he screams so hard he holds his breath. Mommy does not like that!

A little after 7:00 we leave the restaurant and head back to Nana’s for gifts. I start to feel beads of sweat forming along my forehead, my heart begins to pound so hard it shakes the car, and my palms are clammy.

We’ll never make it! I look back at the munchkin smirking at me. Bath time is at 8:00, there is no way we will make it! Based on past experience … this is not a good situation. I express my fear to my hubby. I don’t know if it is the rapid thumping coming from my chest or if he is having nervous flashbacks, but he is thinking the same thing I am thinking. We had planned to be home by 8:00. We don’t have a PLAN B! It is like waiting for the full moon to pop out and a werewolf to emerge.

Hubby drops us off at Nana’s and dashes to the nearest store for baby wash while Nana and I get Holden’s bath ready.

I can tell when the socks are about to hit the fan … even a baby’s subtle shifts are strongly felt by his mommy. However, the second we strip him down he relaxes. Holden knows what is next and it is nothing short of pure bliss to him. I slip him down into the warm water and he lets out his baby sigh …. ahhhhh. Everything is right with the world. Mommy and daddy - 1 … fussy baby - 0.


Funny how the things that make you feel anxious … and I mean really anxious … take on a foreign and completely random form when you have a kid. Never in my wildest dreams could I imagine that the mere thought of filling a tub with warm water 5 minutes later than “scheduled” would send shivers of dread down my spine.

Now that Holden is content we commence with Nana’s gifts.

----------

I love looking at old pictures and I asked my husband to pull out some baby pictures. I wanted to see how much Holden looks like his daddy. And boy, does he! Daddy sure was a cutey.

The highlight was Nanaw’s comments. She is one funny lady. She said, “there sure are a lot of brown headed women in these pictures,” and we waited for the punch line, “we are all gray now!”

I found a gray hair in my eyebrow a couple of days ago. What is up with that?

Which reminds me ….. One of my less than “positive” loved ones once told me “the human body matures until it is 18 years of age … then it slowly begins to die.” By the way, I do not recommend saying this to a 10 year old. It kind of messes them up…

So what can we learn from this? Make the most of the descent!



We can blame Rowdy for the goofy look on my face in this picture. I set the timer and ran back to my place in line. Rowdy kept poking me in the side behind Nanaw's back. He's so silly!













Happy Birthday, Nana!!!

-Carmen

Sweet Photos

As you may recall we had a photo session with Jennifer of Sugar Photography after Holden was born. The link to the slideshow is below or click on the photo.


Jen is so talented. The photos are gorgeous.


I can't believe how much Holden has changed. He was so scrawny! My baby and my hubby are so cute together.


Enjoy!


Holden's Slideshow




















-Carmen

Mama Mimi

Holden made his first visit to Mimi and Pawpaw 2’s (my grandpa is called Pawpaw and now my dad is also called Pawpaw, confusing???) for Easter.


It was a great trip. Holden slept 10 hours both nights! He rarely does that at home. I think he was exhausted from playing.

The Easter Bunny brought him a basket with eggs, a book, bunny, bubbles, and froggy blankie.

We are now home and both tired. Sleepy time…. ZZZZZZ

-Carmen

Rabbit Feet & Family Ritual

Holden had his first Easter Bunny mall photograph taken today. A new holiday tradition!

I changed my first poopy diaper on-the-go. Then my husband and I couldn’t find a trashcan and decided to dump the deed at the next stop … we forgot … so when we returned to our car at the end of the day, the car smelled quite lovely.

Holden was happy until we
arrived at the mall. We stopped at a sitting area to feed him, and then it was sweat and tears until we left. Literally, he was sweating. The bunny’s lair was in one of the courtyards under the skylights and it was HOT! Holden was fussing, tired, and damp. I felt especially sorry for that bunny.

The photo shown took 9 tries. Holden just wasn’t having it. He was trying to squirm away and had a scrunched up face in 8 of the shots. They had to crop out one of the photo staff’s hands, poised to catch Holden if he successfully escaped.










Aaahhhh….. but momma was thinking ahead! While he was happy this morning, I took some pictures of him in his cute little Easter jumpsuit, a lovely baby gift from Mr. Stogsdill’s cousin A, who also gave us the blanket shown, embroidered with Holden's birth stats. So cute!!!


























After quality time at the mall, we hopped over to IKEA “just to look.” I hate leaving there empty-handed. After walking and walking and walking and finally making it to the finish line, I feel like I should give them my money….

But we found something even better than Swedish melamine. We ran into my beautiful aunt N and uncle J! I love them so much. We chatted outside for a while before heading back home … well we had to find a trashcan and dump the dooooo first.

-Carmen

The 2nd Worst Day of My Life

Holden spent the day with Mrs. B. It was our dry run in preparation for my return to work.

Those unsympathetic to new mom woes should cease reading immediately. It’s about to get all kinds of melodramatic up in here….


I was one of them. I never understood what the big deal was. Take baby from point A and place him in point B. Walk out the door.

A thousand paper cuts on my eyeballs followed by a stern dousing of salt and lemon juice would have been less painful than this process actually was.


This morning on the way to Mrs. B's house, I looked in the baby rear view mirror to check on my angel. He was looking outside, then at me in the mirror, and then outside again, wide-mouthed, laughing, and gurgling as if to say, “what adventures are we going to have, today, mom?”

I lost it … all of it. I started bawling. “Well son, I am dropping you off in unfamiliar surroundings so I can spend some quality time with myself.”

I said regrettable things to my husband when he called shortly after… and then again when he called back … and again later ... and perhaps a few more times after that.

A few miles from Mrs. B’s house, I looked at myself in the mirror, and said, “self, you better get it together FAST! For the love of Elvis, fake it!” And I did.

Mrs. B is so warm and I started to feel better as soon as we walked in … and then I left …. an hour later (yes, it took me an hour to leave.)

I didn’t know what to do with myself. My mind was racing. My eyes were pouring. I couldn’t utter a word. He is only 2 and a half months old! How could I leave him? I have been at Holden’s devoted beckoned call and suddenly I found myself alone … completely alone. I didn’t like it.

I contemplated spending the day sitting at the Sonic by Mrs. B’s house, but decided that seemed a little too cuckoo.

I thought maybe I could go home …. but I knew I would just sit in Holden’s room and cry.

So, I drove to Dillards with the intention of buying myself something I want, but don’t need.

I never went in. I sat in my car in the parking lot, and between supportive text messages and phone calls from friends and my mom I cried for almost two hours.

I have great friends. They really are the bestest! They dropped what they were doing to meet me for lunch and supply me with some much needed hugs and assurance.

When I returned to Mrs. B’s to retrieve my offspring, I walked in and said, “Hi, Punkin’.” He shrugged his tiny shoulders up to his ears, smiled a huge gummy smile, and turned to look at me. I sure needed that….. I melted.

I could go on and on about the traumas of the day (obviously,) but I am spent and want to hold my boy.


Every morning when Holden and I get up, I think about how today is his first Thursday … today is the first day he will see his cousin, Sawyer …. today is the first time he will stay with Nana while I go on a date with my husband …. today is his first February 10th … today was the first day he spent the whole day away from me.

Today … was the second worst day of my life. The worst will be the day I return to work…

-Carmen

Bunny Ears

One more bunny pic.....





















-Carmen

Happy Easter

I couldn't wait until the weekend to post this pic. Holden looks so creamy soft. I just want to squish him! He also sat up with minimal help for this photo. Holden is so close to holding his head up ... gotta love that baby neck!

Sorry I haven't been posting much lately. There is a lot on my mind and I needed a little break from (of all things) saying what is on my mind.

Pawpaw did have a stroke. He has been moved to the same rehabilitation facility as Nanners so they can see each other. He should be able to go home in a couple of weeks.

Mom and my uncle have started going through their things at the house … "getting things in order."

On the sunnier side …. Holden is getting so big! We have so much fun together. He giggles, gurgles, makes spit bubbles, and smiles whenever he is awake and content. He is soaking it all up. You can see him thinking really hard when you present him with a new object or view.

We have started teaching Holden baby sign language. We are starting with “milk” and “bath” since these seem to be his two favorite things. Also, the delay in providing either of these things elicits significant emotional outbursts. Hopefully if he knows “it’s coming” he will chill out a little. Personally, I think he is getting it. This opinion has been met with some eye rolling from the naysayers. Before long, Holden and I can “talk” about them in public and they won’t know what we are saying. We’ll just laugh and laugh while our fingers do the talking.

Holden and I went shopping a few days ago. I found these cute cups, bowls, and plates at Target. There is also a ladybug, but they didn’t have the bowl so I’ll have to check another store.

Tomorrow is our trial run with our childcare provider. Holden will be fine. This is for my benefit. I’ll let you know how I do.

-Carmen

Give & Take

My very cool friend Julie made this very cool hat for Holden. Normally he hates for me to put a hat on his head, but he didn’t fight or bat an eye when I put Julie’s hat on him. In fact, he fell asleep!

Holden had his 2 month
doctor appointment yesterday. He is now 24” long and weighs 12.3 pounds. Everything checked out ok.

--------------------

… as some of you know, my mom’s mom has been slowly and painfully succumbing to age and a multitude of health conditions for at least thirteen years. Grandma, (I call her either Nana or Nanners) has been in some form of medical facility for over a year. She is usually non-responsive ..… it’s really just a very sad situation that’s hard to talk about. This has all been very heavy for my mom, uncle, and Pawpaw. Unfortunately, mom’s dad (Pawpaw) has also experienced more than his fair share of decline, now exacerbated by the emotional, mental, and physical wear and tear of his wife’s struggles.

I received the following email (posted with permission) from my mom last night, she couldn’t talk on the phone due to a cough/cold/allergy thing she has been combating for months…..


It was not a good day today. Sara was supposed to have called you for me. My voice is next to nothing.
10 a.m. talked to Pawpaw. Didn't feel well. Still with cold. Waiting one more day to go to DR. Hung up with him. He is going to go make his morning oatmeal.
2 p.m. called Pawpaw. no answer. give him a few more mins. no answer. Go to house. Ring doorbell long and loud and let myself in.
he has gotten up, headed my way. I smell burnt something and ask if he smells it. "no" he says. I go to stove. Burnt oatmeal in pan with burner still on (low, thank goodness) Try to call his attention to it. only wants to talk about having trouble with the micro. second attempt fails, back to microwave. Door on micro was also open along with cabinets, and lights were on that he would never leave on when not in the room.
I am feeling very panicky. Mini stroke I am thinking. Call Dale, "I need you" Try to explain situation. Dale is coming. Start trying to call Pawpaw's clinic. No answer. Call the one in D. After a few attempts I get through to a person. They talk to DR's nurse. They say take him to ER.
This is a real trick. Not understanding why I want him to go with me. I tell him that they are waiting on us at the DRS He doesn't walk well. I thank God for keeping him on his feet. He goes to bathroom. In there too long. I go knock rather loudly. He answers. WHEWWWW!!!! Didn't want to have to go in. He comes out. 1st attempt to put on bathrobe fails, 2nd attempt fails, 3rd fails. ok, that is done. Now the walk to the car. I am sooo tired.
After the normal ER admissions, wait, Dr evaluation, tests etc. 6 p.m. enlarged heart, a kidney issue and high blood sugar, fever of 100.9 and blood pressure is high. They took a chest xray to check his lungs and found the heart issue. That has apparently been the reason he has been so sluggish. He always said it was the diabetes. Don't know how long they intend to keep him. Will let you know. Thank you for praying. Love, Mom

I just got off the phone with mom. Pawpaw’s condition has not improved. His doctor plans to keep him for a few days. Pawpaw isn’t getting it. He keeps saying he is going home tomorrow.

Holden came from good people. My grandparents are the kindest of the kind. It makes me sad that he may never get to meet them.

-Carmen

Mirror, Mirror on the Dressing Room Wall...

... why can't you make my backside look small?


The good news: I have some new clothes for work and they fit.

The bad news: Someone had to make them out of more fabric ... a lot more fabric ... than I would like....

I know you imagine me sitting here typing this stuff glammed out in a slinky party dress, covered in bling from ear to wrist, sipping on a martini at a swanky cyber cafe (that's how I picture me) .... I pretty much wear sweats (sometimes 2 days in a row), my husband's t-shirt, and a hair scrunchie while quietly pecking away at the keys in our dark man cave praying my subtle movements don't stir the munchkin from the possible onset of a nap.

My hubby has come home from work on multiple occasions and asked, "Is that milk on your shirt/sweats?" I reply, "Why yes. It does appear to be milk," as I scratch my nail across the spot and give it a quick sniff. "I think it has been there since yesterday. And that sour milk spit-up smell ... that would be me, too .... also from yesterday. Let's make out!"

So, and here is the point of this little ditty ... accustomed to the sweats, I would have likely got up the morning I go back to work assuming that "by now" my normal low-waist work-casual slacks fit … only to have a melt-down of mass proportions in the closet floor. And if my bottom could speak ... English ... it would fervently cry "WHY? Why DKNY, Bisou, and Liz and co.? Why have you forsaken me?"

-Carmen

Happy 2 Months!

Holden is 2 months old today. Mommy celebrated with a bowl of ice cream. Yum! Holden celebrated by hanging out is in his birthday suit (plus diaper.)

My favorite thing this month is that Holden smiles soooo much. He looks like he is laughing, but someone turned the volume off. He isn't laughing yet, but he does talk a lot.

Holden also has developed an early flair for the dramatic (I don’t have a clue where he got that from) and follows many sneezing fits with a very loud over-the-top sigh, just to make sure everyone knows just how taxing it was on him. Achoo, Achoo, Achoo, UHGUHHH!















Holden watched his first 30 minute cartoon yesterday. That Baby Einstein stuff isn’t for me, but babies love it. Well, maybe it is for me. I found myself in a relaxed trance as brightly colored members of the animal kingdom floated across the screen.

Tomorrow we are going to get out for a while and see Nana and Rowdy. I also have to suck it up and buy some pants for work. I know it is all part of the miracle of life, blah, blah, blah, but I am really not thrilled about buying bigger pants, and I refuse to go back to work in maternity clothes. Most of me has returned to it’s original mass and location, but my hips are not where they use to be.

You have probably noticed the slideshow feature I added to the top right hand corner. I will add a picture each month so you can watch him mighty-morph.

-Carmen

Baby Blue

He is pretty. That's right ... I said it. He is a boy and he is mine (I am admitting bias) but look at him. ... pretty.















-Carmen